Parents across Oklahoma told us what it was really like to talk to their kids about nicotine and vaping. The answer? It’s not perfect, it’s not polished and it’s not always easy.
Still, it’s happening and it’s more important than ever.
Erin’s Story
“This conversation isn’t optional.”
Do you think tobacco companies are targeting kids?
“I don’t think there’s a world where fourth graders are bringing vapes to school and there aren’t intentional decisions being made to make these products appealing to kids.
Just looking at the design, packaging and flavors of vapes honestly scares me as a parent. They’re aesthetic. They’re sleek. The flavors feel both familiar and exciting. It doesn’t feel accidental.”
When did you first have the conversation?
“Around five. It feels early, but they were in that constant ‘why, why, why?’ phase. That actually helped, and there wasn’t social pressure yet.”
At that age, the message was simple:
“That’s a cigarette. It’s something adults sometimes use, but it can hurt your lungs and make your body sick.”
What sparked the conversation?
“Usually just life. Something they saw. A question they asked. I tried to follow their lead.”
As her kids have gotten older, the conversations have changed.
“Now we’re at the age where some of my kids’ peers have tried it or been exposed. The conversations are more about how and why to say no if they’re offered it, and how to support friends without being judgmental.”
How did it feel?
“Conversations like this are a little terrifying. When you love your kids, you want to protect them from unnecessary hurt and harm. You want to get it right.”
Everything is changing fast.
“It sometimes feels like adding one more heavy thing to an already mile-long to-do list.”
But she’s clear:
“This one isn’t optional. It’s real. And you can’t really afford to leave it alone and hope it works itself out.”
What surprised you?
“How much they retain. They soak in more than you think. Even conversations that felt small to me clearly stuck with them.”
One tip for other parents?
“You don’t need an award-winning speech, a college degree in science or perfectly rehearsed answers to make a difference. You just have to be willing to start.”
Jen’s Story
“Don’t be afraid of one-on-one conversations.”
Have you talked with your child about vaping?
“Yes, since he was little. But it’s at a heightened concern given he’s in high school with so many more kids.”
Jen’s first deeper conversation happened when her son was 15.
What sparked it?
“My cousin came to visit us for a family gathering. He comes from a long family of smokers, and despite trying to quit, he is a heavy smoker as well.”
That visit opened the door.
How did you bring it up?
“We were in a car ride (about 30 min) and using my cousin’s visit as a segway, I had the chance to ask him about whether he knew if his friends vaped or smoked.”
They’ve also talked while waiting at the bus stop.
How did you feel during the conversation?
“We have always tried to be pretty open and have a safe place for conversations, so it wasn’t too bad, but I do try to make sure I’m not quick to come off judgmental or nosey of his friends. That can feel like a hard line to walk.”
Still, she felt relief.
“My son was very matter of fact with me. He made it an easy conversation.”
Was anything surprising?
“He was chill and very forthcoming about his friends’ positions (who are tobacco/vape free — yay!) and the stuff he sees and hears about at school.”
One moment stood out.
After her cousin came inside from smoking, the boys immediately noticed the smell.
“Once he departed, my son and his friends reacted, and all tried to air out the room … They all vacated while it cleared.”
One tip for other parents?
“Don’t be afraid of one-on-one conversations. Showing honest concern and genuine curiosity about your child isn’t a bad thing. It shows you’re invested in their well-being and that you want to be there for them as both a parent and a trusted resource.”
Where To Start
If you’re a parent, guardian or educator, or know someone who is, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Visit TalkAboutTobacco.com for talking tips, conversation guides and age-specific experiences made to help teens understand the risks of tobacco and vaping. Find ways to connect with your teen without judgment or scare tactics, just facts, information and support.